MUM               My goodness, it moves, it moves! The amazing Norman doll! It walks, it talks, it even dresses itself …... sort of. Do you seriously think you’re coming out with me dressed like that? 

DAD                What’s wrong? 

MUM               Has the light bulb gone in our bedroom or what? You look like a blind man who’s just done a smash and grab at a jumble sale! 

DAD                I had to change my trousers, didn’t I? 

MUM               The last time I saw someone dressed like that he was sat outside Woolworths with a dog, and I gave him 20p for a cup of tea! 

DAD                Do you want me to change? 

MUM               Yes please. (under breath) Into a human being if you could possibly manage it. (exit DAD) 

ALICE              Can we at least open some presents while you’re out? 

MUM                No. You can wait till tomorrow morning. 

BILLY               We’ll find them, you know. 

ALICE              We’ll turn the house upside down if we have to. 

MUM                There’s no need for that. They’re in the bottom of the wardrobe in our bedroom ..... 

BILLY               Aha! 

MUM                .... which is locked. 

ALICE              Eh? 

MUM                And I’ve got the key. (dangles key in front of them, they make a grab for it, MUM pockets it) 

ALICE              You’re horrible!