TEACH            Where’s your book, Andrew? 

ANDREW        I don’t know miss. I put it in my bag last night .... 

TEACH            (she’s heard it all before)  After you did your homework? 

ANDREW        Yes miss, after I did my homework .... 

TEACH            And when you got to school this morning it had disappeared? 

ANDREW        Yes miss, how did you know? 

TEACH            Well, it could be my superhuman powers, my enormous brain, or it could have something to do with the fact that the last piece of homework you handed in on time was in April 2005. 

ANDREW        Really miss?  What a fantastic memory you have! 

TEACH            As I said Andrew, it’s my enormous teacher’s brain. At least this time it seems you managed to stop your sister spilling tea on it, the cat eating it, the dog weeing on it or your mother putting it in the washing machine with your football kit. 

ANDREW        Yes miss, it’s hard work getting homework done in our house. You’ve got to be constantly on your guard. 

TEACH            Evidently. 

SUSAN            Give him lines miss! 

DEBBIE           Give him a detention miss! 

BEN                 No, give him the cane miss! 

DAVID             Give him 50 lashes with the cat o’ nine tails miss!

SARAH            Send him to prison miss!! 

SUSAN            Hang ‘im miss!

TEACH            All right, all right, that’s enough! See me after the lesson, Andrew.

ANDREW        Yes miss.