BEADLE          Hm. You, young lady, need to show some apprehension ....

 BOB                Appreciation.

 BEADLE          .... for all the edification ....

 BOB                Education.

 BEADLE         That’s what I said! For all the edification we’re giving you.

OLIVIA             What education? All we ever do is SATs practice! Reading Tests, Writing Tests, Science Tests, Maths Tests, and worst of all those stupid Mental Tests with that insufferable woman going on and on in her silly posh voice: (mimics) ‘Your teacher will now stop the tape and answer any questions.’ I can’t stand it any more!!

 BEADLE         How dare you claim that’s all we ever do here!

 OLIVIA            Well it’s true, isn’t it?

 BEADLE         What about the treadmill? 

OLIVIA            Treadmill? Treadmill?!? I dream of having a nice relaxing walk on the treadmill for a few days, it’d be blessed relief after yet another day of Longer Writing Tasks and Spelling Strategies. (mimics teacher’s voice) ‘Don’t forget to double the last consonant, how many ‘l’s in wonderful?’ Aaaaaghhh!

 BEADLE          (counting on fingers)  Two ‘l’s in wonderful, even I know that.

 OLIVIA                 (challenging) Now are you going to give me some more food or not?

BEADLE          Certainly not, you incontinent child!

OLIVIA             Right! That’s it! I’m off!

BEADLE          Off?

 OLIVIA             Off! Gone! Outta here! Like, so long, suckers!

 BEADLE          But what will you do? How will you live? 

OLIVIA             I’ll manage. I always have so far. See ya kids! 

KIDS                Bye Olivia! See ya! etc

BEADLE          And where do you intend to go, foolish girl? 

OLIVIA             Go? Where does anyone go when they’re looking for high society, culture, excitement, thrills .... to see life in all its rich splendour? 

BEADLE          (puzzled looks all round) Where? 

OLIVIA             To Torquay of course! (with rich Spanish accent) Adios amigos!  (exits)