Welcome to the JOE AND THE BEANSTALK homepage.

 

Sample 1:  Joe's mum has waited patiently for him to return from town with a stack of money from the sale of their prize cow Daisy. She's anticipating a slap-up meal, maybe steak, salmon or chicken. When he wanders in, pleased as punch, with no money and only five beans in his pocket, she does the only rational thing - chases him round the garden with a poker. Having had a night to sleep on it, she has now calmed down a little.

Sample 2:  The beanstalk has grown overnight, and Joe decides he has to climb it. Reaching the top, high above the clouds, his fingers are almost crushed to a pulp by a mighty boot. It belongs to the miserable, child-eating giantess Rumbag.

Sample 3:  Rumbag has gone for her (much needed) beauty sleep, leaving her dopey and soft-hearted giant husband Grabbold in charge. He's supposed to have Joe popped in the oven on Gas Mark 6 and baking away nicely, but instead allows himself to be talked into a daring escape plan. When he mentions bringing eggs down to earth with him Joe thinks he's some kind of simpleton ..... until he sees one of them.

Sample 4:  After Grabbold goes off to collect enough eggs to give them a comfortable lifestyle on Joe's farm, Joe encounters the annoyingly straight Harp. A lump of wood it may be, but this Harp is a career snitch, and so Joe can't allow him the opportunity to wake Rumbag and drop them in it. Drastic measures are called for.

Sample 5:  Joe and Grabbold have made their escape and are clambering down the beanstalk when they are stopped in their tracks by the brutish roars that signal the awakening of Rumbag above. Is the game up for our two heroes? Not if scheming Joe has anything to do with it!

For samples, simply click on the links to the right.

 

Bobby Dazzler ....

Here to make reading fun!