In the book this text is presented as a comic strip.

1.      Bert?

        Yes Freddy?                                                      

     Ever wondered what’s out there?

2.     I know what’s out there. A telly, a ginger cat and the girl that gives us the flaky foody stuff.

     I didn’t mean that, Bert.

3.     What then?

     I mean out there! In the big world!

        You mean the kitchen?

4.     No! Not in this house! Outside! Streets, lakes, animals, shops!

5.    Not really, no.  I’m a goldfish.  I’m happy here. Got my water to drink, my sprinkly stuff to eat, little boat to swim in and out of ……

6.     You may be happy, but I’m not …… I’ve got a plan, Bert.

        What do you mean, a ‘plan’?

     I’m off. I’m going to do a runner.

7.     Escape? You’re mad as a hatter.

     No I’m not. You’ll see. I’ve thought it out,

     right down to the last detail.

8.     Hmm. So how will you get out of this tank for a start?

     Well, I’ll wait until the girl has fed us, so I’ve got a

     belly full of food to keep me going …..

9.    ……then I’ll jump up out of the water …..

10.    …….. grab the lip of the tank with my fish fingers

      and pull myself over.

11.    Pull yourself over? With what? You’re armless!

     I may be armless Bert, but I’m not finless.

12.   I’ve had that puffer fish as a personal trainer. I’m super fit. Fifty laps of the tank each day.

13.    Oh, now I understand. I thought you were just having one of your mad months.

     Not at all. I’m fitter than that Bockham bloke on the telly. Fins of steel!

14.    Ok, just say you can get out of the tank, what then? You going to swim across the carpet, open the back door and leg it? Sorry, I mean fin it??

15.   That’s exactly what I plan to do.

        With your fins of steel?

     That’s right!

16.    You’re a nutter.

17.    No I’m not. You’re just bitter cos I’ve got such a cracker of a plan.

18.    Not.

Are.

19.   You’ve always been bitter, ever since you                    were a tiddler.

20.    Ok, ok, keep your scales on, don’t fly into a temper. What about Nabber, that ginger monster? Cat’s love fish.

21.    He’ll catch you, bother you, batter you ……..

22.   ………..then have your fishy fingers for dinner.

23.   I’m too clever for Nabber. I’ve made a dummy fish.

        A what?

        A dummy fish. As a decoy.

24.  Look!        

        You think Nabber will be fooled by that?

25.   Sure! He may be a killer, but he’s a bit of a duffer as well.

      I’ll throw the dummy fish down onto the floor over by the dresser ……

26.  ……. I’ll wait till he pounces on it, then whoosh!

     I’ll be out the door, round the corner and out of here.

27.    Whoosh?

That’s right. I’m fitter and faster than you think.

         How can you whoosh, when you can’t breathe out of water?

28.    Aha! I’ve thought about that too. I’ve made a little water tank to strap on my back …….

29.   ……… with a filter and a tube to go in my mouth.

         You are a nutter.

30.     And what about the back door?

Nothing could be simpler! I’ll just chew a hole in it and through I go, out into the garden, never looking back……

31.   …..making a new life for myself on the streets of        Liverpool!

32.   So that’s the plan is it?

        You have to agree it’s a real bobby dazzler!

33.   I don’t wish to shatter your dreams Freddy, but there’s a slight problem.

        And that is?

34.   Well, as everybody knows, goldfish have very poor memories.

        Really? How poor?

35.   About ten seconds.

     Hm, that bad eh?

        So how will you remember all the fine details of your master plan?

36.   Plan???