FG                   Oh dear, I did hope it wouldn’t come to this. Please don’t make me have to use magic on you. 

CINDERS       Magic? You? Sitting there watching football on telly   with scraps of Prawn Cocktail crisps all down your front? Don’t make me laugh! You couldn’t even magic your way in here! I mean, what sort of Fairy Godmother has to knock at a door, for goodness sake? 

FG                   I chose to knock at the door, on account of the Vanishing And Reappearing Spell takes it out of me these days and leaves my legs a bit wobbly. I thought I’d save my magic for more important matters. 

CINDERS       Right, like turning pumpkins into coaches, rats into footmen, etc etc? 

FG                   Exactly. Except with all the budget cutbacks, coaches and footmen are off these days. We’ve gone a bit down market. 

CINDERS       So what would you be able to offer, should I decide I wanted to go to the ball, which I certainly do not. 

FG                   Well, servants are out for a start. As for transport, I could probably get my hands on a second hand Beamer, one careful lady owner, not many miles on the clock. Failing that I might be able to rustle up a nearly-new Ford Focus, just a couple of small scratches on the paintwork, nothing that anyone’d notice. 

CINDERS       So, let me get this straight. You’re suggesting I spend my Saturday evening at a totally boring dance in the company of mindless idiots that I can’t stand the sight or smell of, and to get there I have to drive myself in a second-hand rustheap that might break down and die on me at any moment?