CAT                 Buttons, this is the third time this week that you've started to pack your bags. The first time was when you were asked to move the TV so that you could hoover behind it….. 

BUTTONS     It's heavy that TV! I've got to mind my back. 

CAT                Then, when Mildred asked you to get the cobwebs out of the corner of the living room…… 

BUTTONS     I don't do stepladders! They know I can't stand heights. 

CAT                 ….. and now this. Buttons, if you don't mind me saying so, you're one very choosy butler. I'm surprised they haven't fired you countless times before now. 

BUTTONS     Fire me?? Ha, that's a laugh! Where would they find anyone that could replace me? 

CAT                Hmm. A pet shop maybe? 

BUTTONS     What? 

CAT                Buttons, a ten-year-old hamster with a gammy leg and dodgy eyesight would be able to do just as good a job as you. You've hardly lifted a finger since you came here nine months ago. 

BUTTONS     (threateningly) Be careful Cat, you'll go too far one of these days.  

CAT                Don't be silly Buttons, you wouldn't have the energy to chase me, let alone catch me. Do you know what I think? 

BUTTONS     What do you think, O Cat of such great wisdom? 

CAT                I think this latest tantrum has got nothing at all to do with the first floor bathroom. 

BUTTONS     What's that supposed to mean? 

CAT                Like I said. It's not the bathroom that's the problem ….. it's Cinderella ……and the ball tomorrow night.